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Think of what you’re drawing! I told myself. I had chosen a lotus flower, simply because a very spiritual friend had recently told me that my lotus heart was beginning to open up. It hadn’t been the first time the lotus had been brought to my attention. And so I chose to draw a pink one surrounded by lots of green leaves and shadow.
Now you might be asking yourself, What is the big deal? Well…Up until this point I had only been drawing in black and white--Black and white portraits to be exact. In fact, black and white had become the order of my life. It seemed that for the better part of the past ten years I had lived my life from one crisis to the next…. An endless lists of tasks to be done…Duties and obligations executed with the skill of a surgeon. Color did not seem to be in my vocabulary.
So here I was for the very first time drawing in color. I put my pencil to the paper once again. As I continued to color the petals, I began to see the many nuances not noted upon first glance. And I realized that while my flower was called a pink lotus, it was a combination of many shades that actually formed the whole of the flower…Magenta, Raspberry, Maroon, Red, Terra Cotta and even a tad of Green and White.
Why hadn’t I noticed that upon first inspection? I asked myself. But then I realized that just as that flower had so many facets, so did I. I just hadn’t been able or ready to notice them. I had been going along in life collecting experiences like pennies in a jar without ever stopping to count or inspect them, or perhaps cash them in or trade up to lighten the load.
And then it suddenly occurred to me just what the lotus symbolized. For a lotus is born from the mud and murky waters and rises like a phoenix from the ashes to bloom above the water’s realm, its petals reaching up toward the sun and sky to find the light. It is very much like the spiritual awakening or an evolution of the soul from the depths of materialism and earthly things to enlightenment. And the irony of the pink is that it is reserved for the highest deities and is the earth symbol for Buddha.
Again I thought about the deeper meaning of what I was drawing. My lotus flower was surrounded by green leaves in many shades and layered over each other…Green, the color of resurrection and regeneration. Then I recalled something I had read awhile back about the color green. In Iran it is one of the colors that symbolizes paradise. In Portugal it stands for hope. In Japan, it represents eternal life. That gave me pause.
It was obvious to me now that my subconscious was trying to tell me something as green and pink are also associated with the Heart Chakra. It was a gift to myself as the lotus stands for transformation and rebirth as well. I recalled the conversation about my lotus heart and the manifesting of my heart’s desires. Just what did I want in my Universe? What did my Universe look like? I reflected on this for moment then concluded that as safe as “black and white” seemed, I wanted the shades of gray and the colors as well. I began to feel a bit like Dorothy in her black and white house about to open the door to the whole new world of Oz, a world full of color and strange and exciting new experiences.
What would I find on the other side? I pondered this for a moment, as when all was said and done, all Dorothy had wanted to do while in Oz was return to her home. And her journey down the yellow brick road was filled with danger. A hint of doubt wriggled up. Was I truly ready to move forward? To open up my heart once again to life’s possibilities? To risk disappointment? But then I realized that for better or worse all my experiences of the past had brought me to this point in my life. Each and every one had taught me something. I just needed to figure out the end game…My raison d’etre…
People always seem to argue the merits of destiny and fate controlling your life. They ask what the point of living is if you are predestined to be a certain way or live a certain life. But I believe that at any given moment you are where you are supposed to be. There is a purpose to your life. You just have to discover what it is . Life is a one way journey, each of us on a different path but all destined for “home”--The place where Light and Love welcome us with open arms and Enlightenment completes us.
And Life can be chaotic, unpredictable, multicolored, sometimes streaming like a rainbow and other times swirled and muddled like the bottom of swamp or the inside of a tornado. But oh, when those colors came together in the right combination? Those were the moments that truly transformed you and made your heart sing. And the shades of gray? Well they made you more human, more compassionate, more understanding…
I kept drawing, adding more color, more shades and when I was finished I went back and worked on the finer details. Those small things that gave the drawing depth and definition. And when I was finally done I sat back to look at the whole drawing and thought yes, it was time to take stock of my life…Time to take those pennies out the jar and decide just what to do with them. To put all the pieces together and see the bigger picture. To take all my experiences and fine tune my life’s course, manifesting all that was good and right and letting go of that which no longer served me. To go forward fearless and with the faith that I was headed toward a higher ground.
I put my pencil down, then glanced one last time at my lotus. My heart seemed to swell with an immense sense of joy for the many blessings of the day. And somewhere deep down I had the sense that that night I would be dreaming in color.
